Brackets For Dummies

Article first published as March Madness Brackets for Dummies on Technorati.

It’s that time of year again when the familiar disease descends upon us. Rabid college hoops fans recognize the symptoms right away.

1- The burning desire to see young people play basketball
2- The need for said basketball to be played in a tournament structure

Everyone you encounter, The Stricken we will call them, seem programmed to ask the same question.

“How’s the bracket looking?"

As if it were either a part of your anatomy or a newly purchased extravagance. Or perhaps both. They all love to closely scrutinize your March Madness bracket too, condemning what they deem as egregious errors.

“Really?” they’ll ask, pointing to a first-round upset, “You sure about that one? Because if I were you, I might want to take another look.”

Once the games start, though, the same experts that were busy trashing your bracket have curiously shed that self-righteousness. It has been replaced by a refreshing air of humility, like someone who got a little too drunk the last time you saw them, and felt shame and regret about something stupid they’d done.

“My bracket’s shot,” they announce. “No one saw that upset coming.” And you nod your head in sad agreement, your fever starting to wear off as well.

“How could you have forsaken me, bracket?”

The fact is that there are 68 teams in the 2011 NCAA tournament, and if you know enough about all of these teams to produce a well-informed bracket, then I would wager you probably aren’t doing a whole lot else. The casual viewer, meanwhile, can fare just as well, though.

As with any other problem or puzzle, the first thing to do is gather the information. In this case, the hard work has already been done for you. Teams are seeded 1 to 16 on each branch.

Heavyweights (1’s and 2’s)- These are your workhorses and they are 1 and 2 for a reason. You must respect them as such. There will be upsets, but best to ride these ponies far, as chances are, there will likely be 2 of them in the finals.

Dark Horses (3-9)- These are the ones to worry about, as they will make or break your bracket. And breaking you bracket, though it is awfully fun to say, is not what you want to happen. Play the percentages here, and take most of them to get past a round or two, and maybe a couple, preferably a 3 or a 4, to the Elite Eight.

Long-Shots (10-16)- Now proceed with extreme caution here. Most of these teams should be gone after the first round if things play out as expected. But there are always a few that squeak through, and in most cases, they are entirely unpredictable. Select them based on personal connection, gut feeling, or just because you like their name, but if you take them as far as the Sweet Sixteen, you’re on your own.

Now I must go, for I hear the sweet sounds of the bracket’s siren song stirring and am powerless to resist.